My last visit to IKEA was shocking. Everything went fine until I rounded the corner in the children’s section. Then I saw them.
I was eyeball to snouts with cold, hard reality. In an unabashed exploitation of their pet beagle, BlogHer’s Denise and T.W. have sold the rights to their underage wonder dog. Popular canine persona, Skeeter Bess, has been transmogrified into a plush toy. Have these women no shame? You can imagine my concern, when I turn the corner at IKEA and was confronted with a bin of Skeeter Besses.
Sweet Skeeter has been sold out and mass produced.
A mass of snuggling Skeeters reached out, whimpered, attention got and begged to some home with me. It was heart wrenching. What was really frightening, however, they seemed to exhibit the behavior characteristics of the real Skeeter Bess as the day went on.
Bouncing around the cart, nuisance behavior started right away.
Skeeter II was the model of puppy behavior as I was picking her out, but things soon deteriorated as I put my selection in the cart. As sweet as she was in the bin, she became very self aware and determined. She knew what she wanted and she wanted it NOW! One would think I’d remember the numerous Chatters, Comments, Posts, Tweets and Facebooks about the Skeeter Bess vs. T.W. and Denise face off. But, no. I was smitten.
See Kitty saying, “What is this? And, when does it leave?”
First, Skeeter II created a disturbance all the way from puppy bin to check out. She was excited, jumping around the cart, crouching and hiding behind purchases and then pouncing out to whimper at other shoppers. I could have turned around at any time, but I thought, “She can’t possibly be like the real Skeeter Bess. This will get better when we get home.” How wrong I was.
It’s pitiful to see Kitty praying, “How long, oh Lord, how long?”
As soon as we got home, Skeeter II mouthed the words, “Where’s the bed?” and hasn’t been off of it since. Talk about bed hog! Kitty, a happy bed resident for thirteen years in our home, was given her marching orders by this IKEAN mini-beast. Only recently, was Kitty allowed to return.
Skeeter II now lets Kitty on the bed, to provide sleeping support.
Since then, Skeeter II has commandeered the bed, cuddling up to any warm body that happens to lie down. And, just of whom does that remind me? That’s right, Chicago Beagle of the Year, Skeeter Bess.
So, if you got to IKEA and see really cute beagle puppy plush toys in a bin. Take my advice and walk. On. By.