There I was, sitting calmly at the computer on a Saturday afternoon, when the news arrived.
The cellphone chimed, the Civil Defense siren went off, and a plane overhead flew by with a sign:
Looking out the window, it was easy to see the news.
“Oh no!,” I thought, running to a telephone booth to jump into my blue Sunbonnet. “Our sweet ElaineR.N., BlogHer’s own Nurse Plummer, has been injured!”
“What denizon of evil, what harbinger of pain, what numbskull of nerdity has caused an intrusion into the otherwise perfectly appointed life of our friend, Elaine?”
The story began to unfold. She was negotiating a flight of fancy, no wait…that was a flight of stairs, when she lost her balance and Isaac Newtoned to the bottom, on her bottom. In trying to stop her fall, she lost the battle with the staircase, and suffered a compound fracture of her Twitter wrist.
Yes, boys and girls, that’s the fracture from the Boy and Girl Scouts First Aid Badge where the bone sticks out of the skin, and everybody goes, “E-e-e-w-w-w!,” rolls their eyes and makes gagging sounds.
In fact, never one to do things halfway and ALWAYS looking for the next photo-op, Elaine was whisked to the front of the hospital ER triage line faster than a celebrity at a restaurant on Rodeo Drive.
ElaineR.N., in happier days.
She had surgery this morning, the doctors putting her wrist back together with nails and a plate, just like Pinocchio. Tonight, she was realizing her standing Saturday night date with BlogHer will not be kept and started worrying about her fans and the public that loves her so much.
So, giving the Queen Elizabeth II wave, as well as anyone can with a compound fracture, she says, “Hi!” and *garbled speech* “Where are the pain meds?”
“I SAID, WHERE ARE THE PAIN MEDS!?!?! Am I the only Nurse on this floor? Stand back! I’ll get them myself. Oh….OUCH! Well, maybe not.” *lies passively back in bed.*
So, as we leave our heroine, Nurse Plummer, let’s all be hospital “Pink Ladies” pushing the cart of goodies down the hall to Comment below and say, “Get well soon, ElaineR.N.! We LOVE you!”